I was in my usual office get-up, boring linen pants, boring cotton top, boring black leather moccasins, and my extremely boring working bag. I had my hair down, no make-up and I had my glasses on. In short, I looked like a normal boring office worker with nothing but normalcy oozing from every pore of my being. Plus, I have gained so much weight I doubt without baring a little flesh, I will appeal to anyone but a butcher (I have lotsa meat) or a weight loss expert in need of a subject to try his ‘new and improved’ diet pills.
I was wrong.
My apartment lies at one end of the 1b metro line, so when I get on, there usually aren’t that many people in it. I got on the metro this morning at 8, there were several students and some office people. Two stops later a guy comes in, looks at me, winks and sits in front of me. I ignored him and kept reading a newspaper I brought with me. Then he starts talking. Yes, to me.
“Comment cava Mademoiselle?” (translation: are you ok miss?) He asks. I thought to myself, “do I look like I was hurt? or sad? or upset? Of course I was ok” and I kept on ignoring him.
He asks me again, “Comment vous vous appelez?” (tr: What is your name?) then I looked up and looked at him. I think he was Moroccan, and because I know most of them here don’t speak English, I decided to speak back in English. I said, “I’m sorry, I don’t speak French. Thanks for talking, but as you can see I am reading this paper and I would appreciate it if you stop talking to me.” Then I got up and moved to another seat, while asking permission to an old lady to sit next to her, in – wait for it – French, LOUDLY.
That was this morning.
On my way back from work, the boring look I had this morning had increased a few notches because by this time, I was tired, sleepy and looked a bit of a mess with my unruly hair shapeless beyond recognition (note to self: need to get a haircut), plus, my shirt had yogurt stains (I spilled some yogurt on my shirt as a result of attempting to be a superwoman – typing with my right hand and eating yoghurt with my left).
I did not take the same tram and metro as I did this morning. I thought the day was too lovely to get on a metro (it goes underground), so I took the tram to Hermann-Debroux and stopped by carrefour to get some stuff, and then took the bus for the remainder of the journey. I got off around 3 kms from my place and decided to walk home (I needed the exercise anyway). As I was walking home, I walked past two tweens (they must be around 20 somethings, not older than 23/24) who were sitting on the side of the street while drinking beer. One of them said some stuff to me in Spanish. I didn’t really get what he said, (my Spanish is really awful) so I just walked past them. When I did, they cat-called me in French and threw in a whistle or five. I thought that it was rude but didn’t really pay too much attention to them.
Even though most of the time I ignore people cat calling, whistling and coming on to me, I can’t help but wonder why some men do that. Do they not know most women hate being treated like a sex object? I personally don’t find things like that appealing. When a man does something like that, instead of flattery I feel like a huge piece of Argentinian beef at an auction (I’ve been to a meat auction and I think if meat have feelings, that’s what they will feel like when people bid on them).
When I got home, I went online (again) and read the news on CNN. Funny enough, I found an article titled ‘Cat-calling. Creepy or Compliment‘ (Me and CNN on the same wavelength! How weird is that? Another proof of my awesomeness). The article writes about women who are victims of cat-calling, or sexual harassment on the street and about those who are biting back – via the internet. Yes, the internet is a wonderful, WONDERFUL thing.
There is also a blog called Holla Back New York City mentioned in the article. The blog description of which is as follows:
Holla Back NYC empowers New Yorkers to Holla Back at street harassers. Whether you’re commuting, lunching, partying, dancing, walking, chilling, drinking, or sunning, you have the right to feel safe, confident, and sexy, without being the object of some turd’s fantasy. So stop walkin’ on and Holla Back: Send us pics of street harassers!
Well I say, more power to us girls!
Check out the blog, it has many, many pictures of sick pervs, even a public masturbator who is caught ‘again’ and his picture. This inspires me to do the same. If I ever come across pervs chatting me up and cat-calling me, I would have to remember to take a picture of them with my camera phone and post it here, under heading of ‘Rima’s pervy admirers’.
I just had the same thing last week. I was walking out of the mall to the street to wait for my husband who was about to pick me up when an old man stopped and looked at me. I thought he was going to ask for a direction, but he said that I looked lovely (I said thank you), asked where I’m from (I said Indonesia), asked what I’m doing here (said I live here). Then he asked things like whether I’m married (yes), what’s my husband doing (working), is he offshore (nope he’s about to pick me up in minutes), and that I’m better of with him than my husband. I maintained my composure, and felt sorry for him. He must so desperately need a laid he tried to pick up a random girl off of street. Months a go I sent text to my friend back in Indo, I was pissed off and more in shock because I was walking in a quiet neighbourhood when a truck parking next to me suddenly honked. When I looked the driver and the chap next to him waved and blew a kiss. No idea why they thought it would impress woman.
living in Belgium you just MUST have visited Jaques (spelling..), the chocolate heaven of Belgium. I’ve been there once and we left with around 15€ of all kinds of chocolates.
@ the 1st harassment:
First of all: I wasn’t there and I’m not a woman so if you felt harassed..you’ve got every right to complain about it
About the guy at the bus:
The wink might be a bit too much..
As to what he said..
I’d say ‘comment ca va’ wouldn’t be a real question..more a ‘how are you doing’ not in a strange way.
But all in all it’s bothersome if people don’t understand the fact you’re trying to ignore them.
Do you speak any Dutch?
The more you try to ignore perverts, the more effort they’re willing to give to get you to notice them!
I remember being catcalled at 6 am when I was on my way to work, walking to the bus stop. The idiot was whistling and going “Psst! Pssst” at me.
What the fwuack? This kind of idiotic behavior of men I seriously cannot tolerate. And yet, if I hollered back at him, who would be called as the freak?
It was easy to ignore them, but they wouldn’t go away. Women really should start hollering back at em motherfuckers. Or carry Swiss Army knife like Rima did.
“Imma cut yer dick off so back off!”
lol
hellooooo…. i love how u ditched the morrocan stalker! and i’m not being racist or anything bt these wankers tend to be middle eastern men!! a few days ago i was walking home from hospital so yess i was looking like a nerd with my hospital attire n this wanker decided to follow me home and asking questions. and today on the way home (again) i met him again! i think i’m being forced into taking a different route home, which isn’t fair!!!
i usually just ignore ‘em. i act like i don’t hear or see anything and just stay glued to my ipod most of the time.
it’s just too bad we can’t freely kick ‘em in the nuts and watch ‘em wince in pain.
fuckin sweet.
sexual harrashment.
i thought (and i wish) after i wear head hijab, there will be no men tweak me again like staring and smiling (read : they do that until i realize their “attention” ), or whistling like a fool. but they’re have no guts to touch me physically.
i learn big thing ever since. mentally sick guys won’t care whether if you wear hijab, get naked, or else. as long as you a woman and attractive enough to be harrashed, then they will.
upset? yes, sure! hahaha. but i think it again “oh maybe i’m too atractive to take them breath away” wahahahah, pe-de aja, just laughing on something less important (not important at all).
i don’t want to ruin my mood just because of that. gaaaak penting!
Btw, lucu pas bagian ngomong ma ibu-ibu dalam bahasa Perancis, ooppss busted! hehehe
upset? yes, sure! hahaha. but i think it again “oh maybe i’m too atractive to take them breath away” wahahahah, pe-de aja, just laughing on something less important (not important at all).
ralat:
upset? yes, sure! hahaha. but i think it again “oh maybe i’m too atractive to take their breath away” wahahahah, pe-de aja, just laughing on something less important (not important at all).
sorry, hehe
My guess is that you’re not as unappealing looking as you think you are.
Regardless, while I’m not the kind of guy to strike up a conversation with a strange woman, whistles and cat calls are more than a bit outdated. If you find a woman attractive and feel the need to make this known, walk up and politely break the ice.
Hi Rima,
This just shows how unsophisticated
some men can be. Appaling, juvenile behavior, a lot too learn.
And as dangerous as this is I tend to agree with someone called “Creepy”. I too think if you have attracted this much attention in such a short period your self description belies your real appearance. Yes, yes I know off to the cold showers for me LOL
Yeah..I’m gonna get bashed for this.
Men can be ReaL Pigs sometimes. Millions of years of evolution still haven’t changed a thing.
I.e: Cave-Men. ‘Nuff Said’.
The guy in metro>Wrong thing to say.
Guys on the street>Should go home and drink beer.
And yeah ‘bashin’ time…and yeah, I’m a dude.
@finally woken: you are a very classy and attractive lady, no wonder men go all crazy around you. lol.. but yeah, i have no idea why they do that. it’s like they never left the stone age.
@arjan: yeah I have visited virtually almost every chocolate store. jacques is good, but when you come to brussels, be sure to go to wittamer and pierre marcolini. a bit pricey, but worth your geld.
it is bothersome when people disturb you while you clearly show you don’t care to be disturbed.
Ja, ik spreek een kleine beetje nederlands.
@therry: you remember the swiss army knife thing. will write about that in another post. lol
@lavanyalea: hey Fder! lol.. yeah, I have bad experiences with them all throughout my years of living here. I am glad someone knows how i feel. you should just ignore the bloody wanker and dont change routes. it’s a public street, if he does anything, just scream ‘help’ on top of your lungs, im sure he’d stop.
@laslifeinmyuniverse: i did that in junior high, kick a boy in the nuts. he pulled my bra strap and let it go. it bloody hurt.
it was fracking sweet. lol
@Yonna: those pathetic excuse of men are so stupid it doesn’t matter whether you wear a hijab or bikini. they’ll bother you regardless. just because you are a woman. ’nuff said.
@Creepy: I guarantee you at the moment I look awful. Wait 4-5 months, then I might be my old self again.
Cat-calling are outdated, like I said to finally woken up there, men that still do that are like they never left the stone age. There are other ways to get a woman’s attention, right?
@GJ: Hi GJ.. Some are juvenile. But you are creepy over there are among the much more mature and educated (are you guys by any chance kept in a cellar by your woman? cos you guys seem so mature! like fine wine. lol)
Oh and GJ, you seem to love your cold shower more each day, huh? hahahaha
hey xander, i dont think youre gonna be bashed. some men are pigs. others are not.
you’re my kind of dude to stick up for us tho. lol
Hey!! whats with the “much more matured ” bit sound like smelly cheese. I’ll have to take you off the favorites list.LOL
And BTW sexy has nothing to do with size/weight, its all about attitude!!
Rima, maybe you should try to move here. Nobody, except the drunks and the Arabs (sorry, a bit racist comment here) will try to harass you.
Danish males are simply too coward, too shy too whatever to even utter a line to a girl in a bar. That’s why it’s always the girls who make the first move here and guys can only gain their courage after few bottles of beer.
So far only once happened to me in USA, or because I simply don’t take public transportation that often. Dunno for sure. Anyway, I hate those!!
Rima…
Whatever happened to giving as good as you get…for example, “mate, if you could use your tongue and mouth for anything else but whistling then I might give a fuck!”
or
“it’s not my fault your girlfriend / wife is not as good looking as me so get ya hand outta ya pants and go home!”
I must admit I have a soft spot for women who go for the kick in the nuts route straight off the bat, scary!
GJ…
So, it’s not true that God invented beer so that fat, ugly, stupid people could get laid too? I guess sexy / handsome then is truly in the eye of the beholder
That’s why women should learn at least one or two martial arts OR… the easiest way, own a pepper spray or shocks… it’s legal for protection and i suggest you to buy it now… if it too expensive to buy… you could use a hair spray (use the tiny can) and if you light a matches in front of the wheezer it’ll create fire… show it to that fuckin pervert, i guarantee they’ll ran their asses faraway from you or from any women…
Chronicles of Trisna
I will be honest and say that I do look at pretty girls on the street. Just as I would look at a Ferrari, a thing of beauty is to be admired. But it has to be…
hmmmm… semi discreet and not perving. An admiring glance and not a mental undressing.
Mind you, being a Polar Bear might make some girls think I look at them and think … DINNER!!!!
hi. I found this because a similar thing happened to me and I have read that cat-calling is a growing problem here in Brussels. anyway, so I get what you speak of happening to me a lot… but today it has gone too far. two guys actually fondled/followed me in broad daylight while I was walking Aanspach…… and I, too, was wearing boring trousers and a tshirt/hoodie. argh!