This particular subject was written by my evil and slutty twin sister that has apparently turned into a nun, Mira Fauzi
On Sex and the ‘M’ word.
I do not agree with the person who said, “Sex is like pizza, even when it’s bad, it’s still good” The person who said this is obviously a man. For a woman, when sex is bad, it is so bad it could sometimes be traumatic, or boring or make you wanna go out and mow the lawn.
As for sex and pizza, they are not a good mix, especially when you have spicy sauce on the pizza, and have sex after eating it. But save that for another entry.
When sex is bad, it’s bad. Trust me, I’ve been around long enough to know.
Important note to guys out there: “Even an egg needs three minutes to boil”
Reading Tree’s entry on Marriage and Sex, the former of which is the M word I am talking about, I can’t help but agree with him. Immoral, bad or sinful activities has always been the human race’s greatest vice. Sex outside of the marriage institution is exciting, keeps the adrenaline pumping and is anything but boring!
For most people, marital sex becomes a routine, sometimes a scheduled routine, regular and a biological rather than a passionate need. For my sister Rima, marital sex, chocolate and kryptonite is related. Marital sex to her is like chocolate to her mind, or krytonite to superman.
For all the men out there, my advice to you is: if you hate your penis and would like to punish it but to cowardly to castrate it yourself, go get married.
For women: If you want to live life with a higher purpose, and would like to punish one man on behalf of all the other bastards you have encountered, go get married, or turn yourselves sexy as hell, be a tease and stay celibate. You know how a dog is a man’s best friend? Well, contrary to popular belief, a woman’s best friend is not diamond, it’s a vibrator.
*note: Do not listen to Myra on that marital sex, chocolate and kryptonite bit. She is a lying, sensation seeking bitch.
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Back to me, site owner, Rima.
On Monsters
Like Brett, my favorite monsters are vampires and werewolves, in that order. I love vampires more because I think they are incredibly sexy and sensual creatures. I would love to be a vampire. Actually, I much prefer to be a vampire than a human being. In no case have I seen a fat ugly vampire. They are always thin, sexy and beautiful. The more reason to be one.
Werewolves are big and bulky when they turn, (depends which movie you see) but are still awesome. They are also thin, sexy and beautiful. They HAVE to be that way because they always end up naked somewhere when they turn back into human. Fat ugly individuals found nekkid with blood all over them in Central Park? People might think they sleepwalked and was so hungry they end up eating a poor homeless guy. Definitely not sexy.
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Thank you notes.
I would like to thank Woelank, who has tagged me with a “someone special online” task, but I am really too lazy to do so. (sorry woolie) I would like to thank him anyway and say that for me, everybody I have met online since I have been blogging are special. Really! So I cannot single just one or two or five out, I will tell all of you that you are special.
I would also like to thank Jed for the Excellent Blog award he has given me. This award is awesome, but then again, we are awesome individuals worthy of this blog, right?
Umm.. again, I would like to present this award to everyone on my links page, because you guys are all worth it!
Have a good Monday everybody!
I would agree on the spicy sauce front definitely a post for another day…
Does your evil twin get out often?
BTW an egg does not need 3 minutes to boil in a microwave, a minute or two on high will see your egg explode and then you cleaning up afterwards…I guess it depends on how you like your eggs
Have a nice day!
“No, I have kept my evil twin in my cellar. I let her get out somtime, like once in two or three months..
“
as for the spicy sauce story.. well, it may or may not be posted here..
I like my eggs hard and tasty..
Name one man who confess that he hates his dick. One man not one become-woman man.
“Married men”
Sex & Marriage? hmmmm….one has to keep the flame burning during the marriage. Sex in a marriage has its fluctuations. It is important though to keep this otherwise, it is for me, like living together with my brother.
Felicitations avec The Excellent Blog Award.
Il nous reste 2 semaines Rim!
“thanks doll!!! yeah, 2 weeks to go!!
”
actually, when i did my post, i was thinking more sex within the marriage: you simply have sex less with your partner – not less sex in terms of partners
but yeah…
I guess you know what i mean anyway
“That was also what the post talked about. Once you are married, not only do you have sex with only one person (if you are in a closed marriage and are a decent person) but the longer you are married, the less sex you will have with your partner.. ”
Does cyber sex count??????
“I guess not.. why? is that what you’ve been doing instead of the real thing?”
Bad sex is MUCH worse than bad pizza. It’s not like it matters if you get “put off” pizza.
I too wanted to be a vampire – and still do. Add immortality to the mix and, well, its a no brainer. Imagine never having to worry about skin cancer? I would just want to make sure I was in great shape before “converting”, because from what I can tell, once your bitten you’re stuck with the body you’ve got. Well, that’s according to Anne Rice.
“i love pizza, now im all hungry.. lol
yeah bad sex is just bad. i hate the after taste.. yuks..
I always thought that once you get bitten and become a vampire, all the fat will just melt away, and you will instantly look like angelina jolie.. damn it, if anne rice is right, i will work out like crazy and then get bitten…”
hahaha…totally agree about bad sex thingy… sometimes when not in the mood i feel like i’m being raped by my own hubby LOL…
“omigod, you feel that way too? I thought i was the only one! lol this is by far the most TMI bit i have ever admitted.. lol.. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!
”
Oh THAT m word. I thought you were going in a whole different direction.
“what direction? do share. lol”
come to think of it…it’s my 1st time admitting this too hahaha
OMG Ivy!!!!!!
Now I have all these imaginations of you and Sam doing it… noooohohooooo LOL
a woman’s best friend is a vibrator?
wew…
I tought it was tongue and finger..
hmmm….
(taking a note)
@ Woelank: a woman’s best friend is a vibrator? — yes indeed.. it is very true :p