I have been blogging since 2003, but back then, I’d be lucky to write one or two posts per month. Sometimes I go months without writing an entry. I started blogged intensively since March 2008, writing at least one post per day, sometimes more. But lately, due to a mild depression and all the unorganized junk – emotional and otherwise – in my life, I haven’t felt like writing, and it has been almost two weeks that I haven’t really felt like writing.

On the bright side, the blog writing block has not affected my song writing and designing skills. I have successfully written two (really good) songs. Of course I am biased when I say the songs are really good, they’re mine, who else is gonna compliment it, right? But really, they are good, my producer said so (I’m so proud of myself). And not only that, I am on fire with my band’s CD cover design. Yes, I am having a try at designing our debut cover, hopefully I come up with something really good, simple, classy and of course, marketable.

Back to the “mild” depression. It turns out that the depression was the usual PMS, but this time the bloody PMS was enhanced by my being lonely and missing Mr. Husband. Quite a lethal combination which I really did not enjoy. How I got out of it, you ask?

Well, I am not completely out of it. But I’m learning to control it by letting all the emotional junk go. I just released everything by throwing out some clothes, books, shoes (yes, I cried a little while throwing out these, still have tear marks on my cheeks to prove it) and several pieces of furniture. Throwing out these items was a symbolic way of letting go of things I no longer need in my life, the excess baggage I have always thought I had to keep , the need to hold on to the past. By throwing it all away I feel like I am making space for many new and exciting things to come.

I have also tried to do things differently, even mundane things like doing the dishes, the laundry, where to buy my groceries, filling up the gas at a different gas station etc. I felt like the slightest changes in my routine have made a bit of a difference to my state of mind as well, which is a good thing.

I know I am sounding like Oprah right about now, but all this mumbo-jumbo actually works!

On my personal life, Mr. Husband is still away for another 2 and a half months, maybe longer, but I’m starting to get used to being alone again. A few of you might know that I am going back to school again this year for my second Master, and I’m starting to get excited about that as well, as classes starts on September 22nd. I’m excited to learn new things and to make new friends. Hope there will be some cute guys in the class, just so that I can gawk at them when the lecturer goes on and on to being obnoxiously boring.

On the work front, some of you might know that I have been having problem with a ‘bully’. Yes, I might come across like a strong bitch from hell, but I am quite vulnerable and gullible sometimes that some really mean people have been successful in bullying me, even at work.

I have had a hard time dealing with this the past couple of months but as they say, time heals all, and it did me. After some time, I have learned to just ignore the bully and all the nastiness and just smile. I have preached about this to a lot of people, my friends, niece, brothers and family of the fact that smiling and pretending to be happy even when you are sad and are feeling crappy will eventually make you real happy. I guess I have forgotten about it until a few days ago.

So I have been smiling like crazy until my cheeks hurt (I honestly thought only ‘that activity’ can make your cheeks hurt, I guess I was wrong) and the fact that I was taking things easy and putting up a brave and happy front worked because I do feel lighter (No fat jokes now), like a dead weight have been lifted from my chest. I know I can’t run away from life just because I feel sad, depressed, unhappy or lonely. Life goes on no matter what! So I snapped out of it and realized that I don’t want the future to leave me behind and I went back into the racing game with a smile and hope that I will win the race.

Yes, this post is a lot about nothing, may even seem a bit insane to you, but I just wanted to vent out and share, also to let you guys know that I got out of the rut, pulled myself out from the quicksand, saw the light at the end of the tunnel and head on straight towards it and a million other cliches, the point being rima has her groove back and unlike an old lady’s ‘tatas’ that are just looking sadly down, I hope that things are looking up for me from now on.

Cheers people and give me a holler when you read this!